we don't always want what's right.
last night i was searching through some old stuff for some old nike ads i kept from years ago. while i didn't find them, i did come across my old fat tire numbers from years past. leading up to this year's event, i figured that this would be fat tire #7 for me. turns out i wasn't remembering correctly and in fact this will be fat tire #9. i lost a couple years somewhere (which is always what i say about my college years too). how did that happen? the years i 'lost' in college cost me grad school. at least losing the memories of a couple of fat tires doesn't quite have the same outcome.
i've come a long way over the years...and i'm a much different person now then i was then. mostly. and it's weird to think about the decisions, the experiences, the circumstances that it has taken to bring me here...in my desk chair...at my office in middleton wi.
i feel like i have stagnated a lot over the past couple of years. life has been good, i'm very fortunate, and i think i've let that go to my head. i look at my athletic pursuits as my personal 'canary in the coal mine' and over the course of the last 2 years, i've been hesitant to push it...hesitant to hurt if you will. i've never been one to be happy to just finish and that is what it's been feeling like lately. and that part of me that pushed, that wasn't happy unless i met my goals, has been sorely missed.
the problem has been i've involved myself in things that are difficult to set goals to achieve. the nature of my work is that you never know what is coming downstream at you, and the majority of the work i do is to get it done, generate revenue and move on to the next, unrelated task/client. there is rarley an opportunity to become an expert at anything...unless you count being expert at switching gears. it's the same with mountain biking...the courses are all pretty transient in nature, last year's mud pit is this year's rock hard race course...and the metric for progress is finishing place and not finishing time. and that is dependant on so many other factors.
what does all this mean? hell if i know...i'm just blogging what's on my mind this morning. everyone who reads this has read this type of post before. and everytime i apologize....as i do for this one.
i've come a long way over the years...and i'm a much different person now then i was then. mostly. and it's weird to think about the decisions, the experiences, the circumstances that it has taken to bring me here...in my desk chair...at my office in middleton wi.
i feel like i have stagnated a lot over the past couple of years. life has been good, i'm very fortunate, and i think i've let that go to my head. i look at my athletic pursuits as my personal 'canary in the coal mine' and over the course of the last 2 years, i've been hesitant to push it...hesitant to hurt if you will. i've never been one to be happy to just finish and that is what it's been feeling like lately. and that part of me that pushed, that wasn't happy unless i met my goals, has been sorely missed.
the problem has been i've involved myself in things that are difficult to set goals to achieve. the nature of my work is that you never know what is coming downstream at you, and the majority of the work i do is to get it done, generate revenue and move on to the next, unrelated task/client. there is rarley an opportunity to become an expert at anything...unless you count being expert at switching gears. it's the same with mountain biking...the courses are all pretty transient in nature, last year's mud pit is this year's rock hard race course...and the metric for progress is finishing place and not finishing time. and that is dependant on so many other factors.
what does all this mean? hell if i know...i'm just blogging what's on my mind this morning. everyone who reads this has read this type of post before. and everytime i apologize....as i do for this one.
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