grind

i don't really have time to do this but i need to clear my mind.

3 weeks ago today, we went to the last concerts on the square. we kept cal up past his bedtime which was ill timed - he wok up that next day with a cold. nothing terrible, but definitely sniffles and a cough. through the weekend he seemed like he was getting slightly worse but still just a cold. that following monday he went to soccer practice but hardly participated - and that was when we thought something was up. he went to daycare on tuesday after waking up seemingly slightly improved but by wendnesday afternoon he was showing a fever which resulted in daycare calling. we took him to after hour clinic where he got a chest x-ray that showed pnemonia. we started his 10 day course of antibiotics that evening and took him in for a follow up on thursday. we spoke with his doctor about whether we should cancel our vacation or not but we all decided that as long as his condition didn't worsen we could go. robin and i split thursday and friday to cover his care which resulted in some long night for me (i worked until past 10 pm friday night).

we departed on vacation saturday morning feeling hopeful that calvin was turning the corner. pneumonia is no laughing matter but he was being treated properly and the first few days of our trip were car days anyway. it was a fun drive to kalamazoo where we stayed for the night. apparently our hotel was headquarters for some tween lacrosse tournament so it was a bit loud. calvin was up a lot that night with a pretty vigorous cough which we expected. but, we all woke up sunday morning feeling ready to continue our trip. we headed to traverse city with a stop on the way and made it around 5 pm to check in to our condo. we stayed in a converted asylum which is now super cool. the lower level has a lot of shops and the upper levels are all fully renovated condos. it was a great find by robin - and it was nice to have full living quarters instead of a single hotel room. we spent a lot of time at sleeping bear dunes national lakeshore exploring everything. we took care to limit calvin's exertion (i carried him up the dune). it is beautiful up there and definitely a place i'd like to visit again. after doing the drive though i'm unsure i'd ever be willing to do it for the iceman cometh in november! tuesday i did some mountain biking while robin and cal picked blueberries - them more lakeshore exploration. it was windy and cool but the waves made for great photos.  wednesday was a travel day with a stop for a walk and lunch in holland, mi. we made it to chicagoland (downers grove-ish) where we set up camp in a hotel. thursday morning we took the hotel shuttle to the train station and took the train in. calvin was over the moon - so exciting for him. his parents made a tactical error getting on the quiet car (bunch of douche bags) but other than that it was fun. we went to shedd, took taxi rides, ate pizza and then hung out at millenium park. it was a great day - by the time we took the train back out we were all tired. thursday night calvin really coughed and even threw up from his cough. he had done that previously during the week but this was different and we started to worry. friday morning we made an appointment to be seen and drove back to madison. after listening to his chest/monitoring his o2 saturation with a albuterol nebulizer treatment they decided he would be better off at the er. so we spent the next few hours there - after reciveing several more back to back nebulizer treatments he seemed better. they sent us home with an albuterol inhaler/spacer for use at home and that night went much better. saturday he seemed really good - his little personality was full on and it was a good day. i got out for a ride (which is the last time i've done so). a couple hours after putting him to bed he woke up coughing and wheezing. robin "slept" with him that night and he just seemed to get progressively worse. once the morning came around it was clear he had to go in again.

back to the er for more nebulizer treatments, the first dose of a prednisone burst and, after he really wasn't showing great improvement, they decided to admit him for overnight treatments/monitoring. this was far less scary than when he was little but still it rattled us pretty good. to make matters worse, there were no beds in the children's hospital so we were placed in the burn unit. i stayed with him in the hospital to let robin get some rest and i think i managed 1.5 hours of total sleep time. there is nothing restful about being at the hospital - they would come in to check him, give him breathing treatments, etc. and he'd be upset. by the time i could comfort him and get him resting again i'd be wide awake. it would take another half an hour before i could doze and then it was time for someone else to come in.  we were discharged monday late afternoon. he struggles at night - robin and i are both pretty tired for alternating "sleeping" with him. he coughed a lot last night - but the cough wasn't as intense as it had been so that is something.

looking back we are second guessing going on vacation. calvin is at daycare for a 1/2 day today - when robin dropped him off there was a sign on the door that several other cases of pneomonia...yikes. i'm exhausted. i'm worried about my son. i'm worried about my pregnant wife. i'm worried about my work obligations.

so, in general i guess you could say that i'm worried.

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